THE PINK PANTHER
Clouseau is brought in from his country post to help find the killer of a mean but popular French football coach and to discover what happened to the massive "pink panther" diamond ring that was on his finger just before he was killed.
Face it, some movies ought not be messed with. Blake Edwards made the original in 1967 with the inimitable Peter Sellers as Clouseau - a buffoon, yes, but with understated gravitas that left you in hysterics. The triple-charm trio David Niven, Claudia Cardinale and Robert Wagner led a fine cast. Classy and funny - who can argue.
Why then, a remake? The talented Martin makes no improvements on Sellers' Clouseau. He's a clown, with all the lack of dignity that suggests. Oddly enough, Kevin Kline's Sir Charles Lytton seems closer to the spirit of the original Clouseau. Jean Reno as Clouseau's foil Ponton seems lost in an uncomfortable situation. The point of the lovely Emily Mortimer as Clouseau's secretary is almost lost. And Beyonce Knowles is still pushing personality over acting.
Nobody really seems as though they're glad to be remaking a perfectly good movie. I don't know why we should be so happy to be watching it.
ALSO THIS WEEK
"Neil Young Heart of Gold" (Paramount, 4 stars) Nothing like a brain aneurysm to help an artist focus. After Neil Young was diagnosed with an aneurysm just over a year ago, he spent the weeks before surgery writing one of his best and most personal albums of music in years, "Prairie Wind."
Around the same time, director Jonathan Demme was approaching the end of a self-imposed year in artistic exile and looking for a project to direct. The two good friends came up with this concept: Young and his musician friends in concert at Nashville's legendary Ryman Auditorium. Some of the musicians performing with Young have been by his side for 35 years. Young's guitar has been around longer: It once belonged to Hank Williams.
If you like Neil Young's music, and I do, this concert is terrific. It is all about the music and the musicians. The songs are drawn mostly from three albums "Prairie Wind," "Harvest" and Harvest Moon." There are no crowd reaction shots. The lighting is serene and surreal, as is the costuming by the "Rhinestone Rembrandt" Manuel.
Demme says of Young, "He's an old-fashioned artist-poet-troubadour, responding creatively to life around him." I can't top that.
The set's second disc contains a video diary narrated by Demme, a conversation between Demme and Young, ride-along interviews with backup musicians and more, including a tour of Young's incredible vintage guitar collection. This is a must for the fan. A revelation for the rest of you.
"The World's Fastest Indian" (Magnolia, 3 stars) Anthony Hopkins portrays real-life speed-freak Burt Munro, a New Zealander who sets out to break the land speed record on the back of a 1920 V-Twin Scout Indian motorcycle in 1967 at Bonneville Salt Flats. You can't help but smile and cheer for the crazy old kiwi.
"16 Blocks" (Warner, 2 1/2 stars) Bruce Willis is an aging cop assigned to escort a star witness (Mos Def) a mere 16 blocks to the courthouse to testify. It seems though, that nobody in the city wants them to complete that journey.
"Dave Chappelle's Block Party" (Universal, 2 1/2 stars) The man is as crazy as he is brilliant. This daylong party in Brooklyn is one mad, mad celebration. Chappelle's guests include Kanye West, Mos Def, Erykah Badu and the Fugees. The disc offers 20 minutes more than you saw in theaters, plus 45 minutes of bonus features. How do you take your Chappelle? Rated or unrated? You've got a choice.
"Aquamarine" (Fox, 2 1/2 stars) Two teenage girls discover a mermaid in the local swimming club pool after an especially raucous storm. Just their luck, the mermaid is into the same things they are - shopping, clothes and boys. If you are over 10 and watching this, you've got problems.
FROM THE VAULTS
"The Betty Grable Collection - Volume One" (Fox) There was more to the actress than shapely gams, although that was her ticket. Collected here are some of her musical escapist comedies, mostly in which she's looking for a rich husband: "The Dolly Sisters," "Down Argentine Way," "My Blue Heaven" and "Moon Over Miami."
"Valley of the Dolls" and "Beyond the Valley of the Dolls" (Fox) From the deliciously trashy novels of Jacqueline Susann came equally trashy movies. The original is about aspiring pill-popping Hollywood starlets. The sequel was penned by movie critic Roger "Two-Thumbs-Up" Ebert about an all-girl band, The Carrie Nations.
"The Adam Sandler Collection" (Sony) Dude, this does not come with a six-pack of beer. You do get the surprisingly thoughtful (and brash) "Big Daddy," the amusing "50 First Dates" and the really bad remake "Mr. Deeds."
"The Princess Bride" (Sony) Superb classic fairy tale directed by Rob Reiner, this two-disc set comes in your choice of packaging: The Buttercup Edition or The Dread Pirate Edition. Contents of both are identical. Bonus features include numerous features, a trivia game, Cary Elwes' home movie, two commentary tracks and more.
IT CAME FROM TV
"Dharma & Greg" (Fox, season 1, 3 discs, 23 episodes) Ditzy flower-power girl Dharma (Jenna Elfman) meets straight-laced attorney Greg (Thomas Gibson). Love, marriage, chaos and much laughter follow. Audio commentaries by cast members included, as well as a featurette, photo gallery and "Inner Dharma" game.
"Medium" (Paramount, season 1, 5 discs, 16 episodes) A supernatural crime drama featuring Patricia Arquette as crime medium Allison DuBois, who sees and talks to dead people while balancing family life and her sanity. DVD extras include commentary tracks, an extended version of the pilot episode, deleted scenes and features on the real Allison DuBois.
"This Is America, Charlie Brown" (Paramount, 2 discs, 8 episodes) This is the story of Charlie Brown's amazing arrival into this country as an illegal immigrant, crossing the border in Arizona and trekking across scorching badlands only to end up with a dishwasher's job in Chicago, where righteous right-wingers hounded him with the taunt "This is America, Charlie Brown, now leave ..." You know I'm kidding, right? This is a pure animated romp through the emotional theme park we call "Patrioticland."
Also out this week: "Beavis and Butt-Head: The Mike Judge Collection, Volume Two" (Paramount/MTV, 3 discs, 40 episodes) Set includes 17 previously unreleased episodes and 13 music videos with B&B commentaries. Heh, heh, heh.
"Walker, Texas Ranger" (Paramount, 7 discs, 23 episodes) There was the time Cordell Walker (Chuck Norris) chased Charlie Brown through the desert ... didn't happen. But he always wins, after getting beaten up, in a fashion. Always.
"Stargate SG-1: Seasons 1-8" (Sony) Each season available separately. A portal discovered in Egypt leads to other portals whole universes away. This exploration has now gone on for 10 seasons, providing endless variations on the theme. Some times bad guys slip through the portal (and apparently we end up electing them to public office).
© Copley News Service
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