THE BENCHWARMERS
Everybody likes to see the little guy win one against the bullies of the world. Especially today when it seems that the bullies are running everything.
There are two such movies out this week.
One is the modestly imagined but earnest "The Benchwarmers" (Sony, 1 1/2 stars) about three adult men who, as a baseball team, pummel the best Little League teams in the state - on behalf of losers and nerds everywhere.
The second is much, much better: "Blackballed: The Bobby Dukes Story" (Shout, 3 1/2 stars). Red-hot Rob Corddry of the "Daily Show" stars in this pseudo-documentary about a legendary paintball player who is caught wiping away a paint smudge and disappears for a decade, scorned and humiliated - only to return and try to reclaim his position in the pantheon of paintball athletes.
"Benchwarmers" comes out of Adam Sandler's production house and has one of his better directors, Dennis Dugan ("Happy Gilmore," "Big Daddy"), attached, as well as pals like Rob Schneider, David Spade and Jon Heder ("Napoleon Dynamite").
And yet it feels like a cheap ABC Family Channel movie, not a theatrical release. It has that upbeat values messaging that people like Sandler and Schneider - now in their breeding years - are discovering with their own kids: Play fair, play for fun, treat others nice and, yup, everybody's a winner.
Not in the beginning though. All in their mid-30s, Spade is Richie, a video store clerk; Heder is Clark, a newspaper boy; and Schneider is Gus, owner of his own landscaping business. When a group of Little Leaguers start bullying some local "nerd" kids, the trio steps in to break up the meanness and ends up playing the whole team in a ball game.
Richie and Clark are beyond hopeless but Gus is surprisingly good and single-handedly hands the kids the game in their hats. The father of one of the bullied kids catches wind of this and mounts a tournament in which the three adults play "the most notoriously mean teams in the state." The grand prize is a baseball stadium.
This nerdy dad (almost underplayed to satisfying effect by Jon Lovitz) is something of a Bill Gates. "One of those nerds," he explains, "who grew up ... to make billions." Yes, the nerds shall inherit the Earth.
A fun movie for kids in some ways but I just wish more effort had been put into things like, well, acting, story, pacing and on-screen values. There are plenty of gross-outs for kids - bodily functions galore - and adult fantasy humor - the guys all end up with supermodel-like babes.
But just as games must have winners and losers, so do movies. This one is a loser, but hey, points for trying.
Meanwhile, I'm glad Corddry is enjoying success on the "Daily Show." How else to explain this 2004 gem "Blackballed" finally getting a DVD release?
Corddry is Bobby Dukes once the greatest paintballer in New York's Hudson Valley. Until he committed the ultimate and unpardonable sin: He wiped. Just a little spot of paint, but a spot none the less. And everyone saw him do it.
It was like finding out that your favorite home-run hitter was a freak of steroids. I'm sure you can relate.
Bobby Dukes disappeared for 10 years. When he suddenly returns, trailed by a documentary crew, the entire paintballing community is in a tizzy. When Bobby announces plans to enter the annual Hudson Valley Paintball Classic and reclaim his honor he's met with disbelief.
Especially by his former teammates on the River Rats.
Bobby Dukes sets about assembling a team but he's left with the dregs and castoffs of the highly competitive paintball community.
The thing about "Blackballed" is that it resists the easy humor. Making fun of this upstart sport that now gets TV coverage and attracts big-money sponsors would be unsportsmanlike conduct.
Instead, the movie lovingly mines the rich vein of human nature that is drawn to Bobby Dukes. There is gap-toothed Lenny Pear (Paul Scheer), a paintball referee who is never asked to play; and muscle-brained Eddie Reynolds (Rob Riggle), a testosterone-drenched "all offense, 24/7" guy; and Showtime (Curtis Gwinn), an introverted videogame player with a hip facade; and finally Crosby Peters (Seth Morris) an organic/yoga dude from Canada, eh.
His nemesis is one-time teammate Sam Brown (Rob Huebel) who has absorbed the worst traits of McEnroe in his ascendancy to the top of the paintball pack. Sam also married the girl Bobby left behind, high-strung Jill Watson-Brown (Jamie Denbo).
There are even more characters, each with a mini-story that unravels in the presence of Bobby Dukes.
It is no surprise that Bobby Dukes and his team the Rounds climb the rungs to face his old River Rats for the trophy. But getting there is such a delightful kick - and the paintball game footage is a real rush.
Yeah, this is a cult favorite from the limited release and festival circuit but "Blackballed" is going to get the audience it deserves, finally, on DVD. Watch it. And don't forget to keep your head down when the shooting starts.
ALSO THIS WEEK
"Final Destination 3" (New Line, 2 stars) On this two-disc edition you can choose the fate of characters with alternate sequences. Is there an option to put this franchise to sleep forever? Nope. Once again, some kids cheat death, this time on a horrible roller coaster crash. Original director James Wong is back.
"Cello" (Tartan, 2 stars) Asian horror films are hot right now. This one is about a brilliant musician who survives a car crash that takes her best friend. Opting for the reclusive life as a teacher, Mi-ju (Sung Hyun-Ah) seeks normalcy but inevitably finds danger about her - all tied to the playing of the cello by her daughter.
"Ask the Dust" (Paramount, 2 stars) In Depression-era Los Angeles, Salma Hayek is a barmaid bent on marrying a wealthy Anglo. Her plan is complicated by an immigrant son and writer (Colin Farrell) who seeks fame, too, and a blue-eyed blonde. Writer-director Robert Towne ("Chinatown") adapted the novel of John Fante for this passionate romantic drama.
"Awesome; I (Bleeping) Shot That!" (ThinkFilm, 2 stars) Beastie Boys member Adam Yauch directed this concert-tour documentary and incorporates footage from 50 cameras handed out to fans at their sold-out shows.
"The Docurama Awards Collection, Volume II" (Docurama) This hefty box set contains 12 Academy Award-winning and nominated films from the Civil Rights era to the present. Oscar winners include "Broken Rainbow" (1986); "I Am a Promise" (1994); "In the Shadow of the Stars" (1992); "Marjoe"/"Thoth" (1973/2002); and "Who Are The Deadbolts" (1978). The cost is under $200 and the experience: priceless.
FROM THE VAULTS
"The Shirley Temple Collection, Volume 4" (Fox) Everybody's favorite child actor - back then - dances and sings her way through three titles: "Captain January," "Just Around the Corner" and "Susannah of the Mounties."
"The Will Rogers Collection, Volume 1" (Fox) Sagacity with a side of humor never goes out of style. Just read Mark Twain, or watch Will Rogers. The cowboy philosopher didn't just spout witty wisdoms, he made movies, too. here are four of them: "Doubting Thomas," "Life Begins at Forty," "Steamboat Round the Bend" and "In Old Kentucky."
IT CAME FROM TV
"Miami Vice" (Universal, Seasons 1 & 2) With release of the theatrical version due, Universal shrink-wraps the first two seasons of the stylish TV drama together for the price of one.
"JAG" (Paramount, Season 1) The seemingly indestructible light drama of life in the Navy judicial system makes its DVD debut. Includes one episode that didn't air in the original TV run, in 1995-96.
"Rawhide" (Paramount, season 1) And so in 1959, television audiences met a young cowboy, Rowdy Yates, assistant to trail boss Gil Favor (Eric Fleming). Rowdy did all right - he was played by Clint Eastwood.
"Tales From the Crypt" (Warner Bros., season 4) Guests included Brad Pitt, Christopher Reeve and Blythe Danner as well as Lea Thompson, Robert Zemeckis and Joel Silver as directors.
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DVD RATINGS4 stars: Don't miss: rent it/buy it
3 stars: Worth the risk: rent it
2 stars: On the tipping point: if nothing else is available
1 star: Don't bother: wait until it's in the $1 bin
© Copley News Service
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