Tough 'Luck' for Lindsay Lohan, audience
By Robert J Hawkins Monday, August 21, 2006, 12:51 AM EDT
JUST MY LUCK
Take for example her latest piece of fluff, "Just My Luck" (Fox, 1 1/2 stars). Lohan plays Ashley Albright, a public relations firm twinkie who is disproportionately lucky.
She lives in New York City and has but to say "taxi" and three will come to a screeching stop, all eager for her fare (and all, no doubt, with drivers who speak English and know the streets of Manhattan).
When little Lindsay - excuse me, Ashley - can't find a thing to wear, a knock on the door accidentally delivers into her arms the dry cleaning of Sarah Jessica Parker - and yep, they're the same size.
She can't scratch a Lotto card without winning.
The thing is, little Ashley cheerfully embraces this embarrassment of good fortune and - expects it.
And so - when the wheel of fortune spins and she lands on the "loser" square, I must confess to a certain amount of glee as she gets kicked to the curb by life's ordinary humiliations. In a twinkle she loses her glam career, her absurdly fabulous apartment, her ridiculously expensive wardrobe, her obscenely rich and good-looking boyfriend ... need I go on? Are you, too, feeling the joy of celebrity pummeling?
Admit it, when you saw Boy George sweeping New York's streets in an orange vest as his community service penalty, didn't you feel that balance was returning to the universe?
I'm not equating Lohan with talent-bereft has-beens. I still think she has the talent to go somewhere with her career. Instead, she's opted to fill the long-vacated seat held by Doris Day. If she isn't remaking Disney B-side movies like "Parent Trap," "Freaky Friday" and "Herbie Fully Loaded," she's sleepwalking through fluffer-nutters like "Just My Luck."
Well, that may be changing. Her cameo in "A Prairie Home Companion" was notable. Her next two movies deal with the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and John Lennon - hardly lightweight stuff. And she's shooting a generational drama with Jane Fonda and Felicity Huffman.
Maybe these are the kind of parts Hollywood starts offering when you finally turn 20. Let's hope so.
Meanwhile, your teenage daughters and their pals are bored out of their minds and school doesn't open for another few weeks. Who said Hollywood doesn't have your best interests at heart? "Just My Luck" will keep any girl under 16 occupied through several viewings.
Besides the fab-dressed Lohan, there are her sidekick pals, Maggie (Samaire Armstrong) and Dana (Bree Turner), all looking like real-life Bratz dolls. And to fill out the teen hunk quota, Chris Pine is Jake Hardin, a luckless band promoter with a Brit-pop group called McFly (Monkees meet Green Day) under his wing.
Story? Oh, yeah, an impulsive kiss between Ashley and Jake transfers fortunes. Ashley spirals as Jake soars - until they can find each other and kiss again.
The kids will love it.
ALSO THIS WEEK
"Sketches of Frank Gehry" (Sony Pictures Classics, 3 stars) There are two kinds of people in this world, those who adore Gehry's aluminum-origami architectures - like the Disney Concert Hall in Los Angeles and the Guggenheim Museum in Bilbao, Spain - and those who don't. Count me among those who don't. Count the director Sydney Pollack, whom I respect and admire, among those who do. Pollack has spent years filming and interviewing his friend Gehry, and I think he's done a terrific job of getting at the essence of the architect.
Gehry is a high-wire act, doing outrageous things in design that others wouldn't dare. Some of it, you gather from this documentary, even appalls Gehry. And yet the crowds keep cheering and he so wants the echoes of accolades ringing in his ears. Never mind that 30 years from now, his buildings will look like monstrous hangovers come to life.
Gehry and Pollack dance around "the difference between aesthetic discipline and neurosis," but that's a line long ago crossed. The fact is, we have Gehry because we have nothing else. "Sketches" helps the skeptics appreciate his unique expression of neurosis a bit better.
"From the Big Apple to the Big Easy: The Concert for New Orleans" (Rhino, 3 stars) Last September, the still shell-shocked musician-survivors of Katrina-ravaged New Orleans stood shoulder-to-shoulder with many others who are indebted to Big Easy influences in their own careers. The place was Madison Square Garden. The cause was hurricane relief. And every cent of the net from this double-disc adds on to the $9 million raised that night.
Among those from New Orleans were the Dirty Dozen Brass Band, Clarence "Frogman" Henry, The Meters, The Neville Brothers, Allen Toussaint, Irma Thomas, Buckwheat Zydeco and the Rebirth Brass Band. Joining them from other musical realms: Jimmy Buffett, Ry Cooder, Elvis Costello, Elton John, Lenny Kravitz, Cyndi Lauper, Simon & Garfunkel, Dave Matthews and John Fogarty.
"Silent Hill" (Sony, 2 stars) Not a horror film so much as a dark, disorienting and surreal drama about a woman and her daughter and the nightmares that lead them to the (supposedly) long-abandoned town of Silent Hill. When the little girl disappears, her mother must battle the nightmarish creatures that inhabit Silent Hill's netherworld. Based on a popular video game and regarded as more intelligent than your typical summer screamer.
"Phat Girlz" (Fox, 1 star) A plus-size miscalculation. Repeating fat jokes over and over doesn't make them more right nor more funny. Less is more.
IT CAME FROM TV
"A Bit of Fry and Laurie" (BBC, seasons 1 & 2) Watching Hugh Laurie in the hit TV series "House," it's hard to express how funny he was in this sketch comedy series with sidekick Stephen Fry, who narrates the "Harry Potter" movies, among other achievements. Very British, very funny stuff. Great bits.
"House" (Universal, season two, 6 discs) What do you know? The brittle, abrasive and brilliant Dr. Gregory House (Hugh Laurie) continues his reign of high hospital drama.
"Veronica Mars" (Warner, season two, 6 discs) A near-cult favorite set in the fictional Neptune, Calif., where teen sleuth Veronica uncovers the dirty secrets of the rich-and-powerful ruling class.
Complete series revue: When a TV show comes out in a "complete series" box set, you can read what you like into it: it stank up da joint; it didn't find its real audience; it was too good for TV, etc. For better or worse, these "complete series" sets debut this week: the sci-fi series "Threshold"; the legal drama "Conviction"; the aquatic mystery "Surface"; and aliens-in-Florida (who knew?) drama "Invasion."
FROM THE VAULTS
"Marathon Man" (Paramount) A first-rate thriller, celebrating its 30th anniversary, stars Dustin Hoffman as a grad student who lands in the middle of a nasty dust-up involving a secret government agency, "The Division," and a Nazi war criminal with millions of dollars in diamonds at stake. This is the film that sent dentistry back several decades. Also stars Laurence Olivier, Roy Scheider and William Devane. Based on the novel by William Goldman, who wrote the screenplay, and directed by John Schlesinger.
DVD RATINGS
4 stars: Don't miss: rent it/buy it
3 stars: Worth the risk: rent it
2 stars: On the tipping point: if nothing else is available
1 star: Don't bother: wait until it's in the $1 bin
© Copley News Service
