Will Ferrell, high socks and a dead ball all add up to 'Semi-Pro'

Man. He did it again.

Every time a new Will Farrell movie comes out I think, "OK, been down this road with Will too many times. Think I'll watch Animal Channel for a change."
So there it sat in my "to view" box, "Semi-Pro" (New Line, 2 1/2 stars). Will Ferrell on the cover in his blonde afro and '70s basketball sweatbands, giving the thumbs up. It could have been "Blades of Glory," "Talladega Nights," "Anchorman," "Elf," "Zoolander" ... different hair, different clothes, same Will Farrell.

Not "Stranger Than Fiction." I really liked "Stranger Than Fiction."

But a comedy about basketball. I don't even like basketball. Who does?

I finally dipped into the "to view" box and pulled out two other comedies that are available this week.

A brilliant move on my part.

You want to make Will Ferrell seem funny again? Just watch the movie-spoof "Meet the Spartans" (Fox, 1 star) and the whatever-it-is "The Onion Movie" (Fox, 1 star) back-to-back. Iraq is a comedy after that.

"Spartans" is cut from the same cloth as the "Scary Movie" franchise. Jokes, gags and parodies come flying at you until something finally sticks - and then you laugh.

The main gag is played off the living graphic novel "300" about the doomed Spartan battle at Thermopylae, so naturally there are a ton of homoerotic jokes. Most of them simply don't work. Mainly because we've seen this stuff a thousand times. Speaking of which, we've also seen Carmen Electra's rotating bootie a thousand times. Not only is the bit getting old, so is she.

The one gag that seemed to work, at first, was the Pit of Death into which Spartan King Leonidas (Sean Maguire) kept kicking pop icons we love to hate - Britney Spears, the American Idol judges, Ryan Seacrest, Kevin Federline, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, President Bush (it's in the final credits ... worth fast-forwarding to), Sanjaya Malakar.

Of note: comic-impressionist Nicole Parker of "Mad TV" pulls off Britney, Paris Hilton, Paula Abdul and Ellen DeGeneres with flair and style that is well above the reach of this film.

As for the "Onion Movie," if you are a fan of the Onion's faux newspaper and newscast humor then run, flee from this mess as fast as you can. When the faux Charlie Rose roundtable of dry film analysts (a self-referential gag) announce that the movie was only half over, I wanted to die.

Imagine, if you will, somebody sewing together dozens of dreary amateurish bits from YouTube into a single chicken-fried movie. Well, there you go. Only it's called "The Onion Movie."

So after trekking across this barren comedic desert, "Semi-Pro" comes off like solid-gold funny stuff.

And - may I be objective? - it is pretty funny.

Ferrell is Jackie Moon, the pride of Flint, Mich., a one-disco-hit wonder who used the earnings of "Love Me Sexy" to buy an American Basketball Association franchise, the improbably named Flint Tropics. Jackie is owner-coach-player and chief promoter - more than a touch egomaniacal.

The team happily dribbles along at the bottom of the maverick league until a merger with the NBA is announced (true story) in which only the top four teams will be folded into the big league.

With the help of aging ex-Celtics player Ed Monix (Woody Harrelson), the Tropics start looking like a real ball team. Rising comedy star Andre Benjamin plays the teams top shooter, Clarence "Coffee" Black.

"Semi-Pro" is character-rich. First-time director Kent Alterman recruited lots of his comedy buds from his HBO producer days. Andy Richter is Jackie's righthand man Bobby Dee. Andrew Daly and Will Arnett are hilarious as the team TV announcers, the literal and bland Dick Pepperfield and the boozy cynic Lou Redwood. Jackie Earle Haley is weirdly wacko as the stoner fan Dukes. Rob Corddry is almost unrecognizable as Monix's biggest fan. The lone female role in this boys' club goes to Maura Tierney as the former girlfriend of Ed Monix.

What really makes this comedy work is the obvious passion director Alterman has for the old ABA - the folks who gave us the three-pointer, the slam dunk, the red, white and blue basketball and showmanship. Alterman's family held one share in the old San Antonio Spurs and he attended games like it was religion.

It shows in the DVD extras where former ABA players hang around the set and talk memories. Celtic-wonder Bill Walton even showed up and took some shots at the hoop with Ferrell.

OK, so this one goes over well enough, Ferrell. But next time, you'll have to try harder to get me to pop that disc into the DVD player. Deal?

ALSO THIS WEEK

"Control" (Genius Productions, 3 stars) Joy Division frontman Ian Curtis (Sam Riley) breaks out of Manchester, England, on the post-punk wave - but the pressures, epilepsy and a failing marriage are more than he can bear. On the eve of the band's first-ever U.S. tour, Curtis killed himself. Powerful story and Riley is near-brilliant as the troubled singer. A companion documentary on the band, simply titled "Joy Division," debuts side-by-side from Genius Productions.

More titles to consider: In the horror tale "The Eye," Jessica Alba's sight is restored with retinal implants but she gets a lot more than she bargained for. Asia Argento stars as an agent with a complicated and deadly love life in the thriller "Boarding Gate" from French director Olivier Assayas. Michael Caine and Demi Moore plot the heist of some jewels in "Flawless."

IT CAME FROM TV

The disappointing sci-fi miniseries "The Andromeda Strain," based on Michael Crichton's celebrated novel, stars Benjamin Bratt. Also this week: The 1995 short revival (seven episodes) of a beloved comic series "Get Smart" with originals Don Adams and Barbara Feldon. The final season of USA Network's psychological thriller "Dead Zone." The 1967 debut season of tough-guy detective "Mannix," starring Mike Connors.

FROM THE VAULTS

Lionsgate goes upscale with its new "The Meridian Collection," a group of "acclaimed, groundbreaking and influential films from around the world." First out are the 1981 thriller from director Jean-Jacques Beineix, "Diva," and the intriguing historical mystery "The Red Violin" (1998) starring Samuel L. Jackson as an appraiser who must find a 300-year-old violin's secrets before it goes to auction. Both films are reproduced in high quality digital editions and include interviews with directors among other features.

DVD RATINGS

4 stars: Don't miss: rent it/buy it

3 stars: Worth the risk: rent it

2 stars: On the tipping point: if nothing else is available

1 star: Don't bother: wait until it's in the $1 bin

© Copley News Service