Spears' 'Circus' is Just More of the Same Brand: Britney Lite

Quick, somebody call the irony police! Britney Spears is back with a new album, "Circus," and she's apparently still as clueless as ever about the difference between art and artifice, earnest expression and empty ear-candy.

Then again, this MTV-bred teen-sex-doll-turned-adult-train-wreck clearly owes much of her past success precisely to her lack of depth and to her synthetic,
all-on-the-surface gloss. If it's party-hearty fun or semi-orgasmic panting in a sleek dance-pop package you crave, Brit's your babe. At least she was until the upheavals in her personal life made her a perennial tabloid cover girl.

Her messy divorce from Kevin Federline led to her very public meltdowns and multiple visits to rehab clinics and psychiatric hospitals, followed by a bitter child custody battle and a judge's ruling that empowered her father and his attorney to legally control all her personal and financial affairs.

That's one reason why her misguided boast — "I call the shots" — on "Circus" title track rings so hollow (and, like much of the album, sounds so unintentionally sad). Also unintentional is the album's bleak commentary on the pitfalls of superstardom, despite (or perhaps because of) her claim that: I'm a put-on-a-show kinda girl.

Spears and her handlers apparently think that all she needs is another hit album to magically make her troubles vanish. If only.

Life is a lot more complex and challenging than trying to top the pop charts for a week or two. Alas, as on her previous album, last year's artistically and commercially threadbare "Blackout," Spears seems to have learned little from her travails. Worse, she is either unable or unwilling to reflect on her experiences in song or in person, as she demonstrated in the singularly unrevealing MTV documentary, "Britney: For the Record."

Spears co-wrote only two of the 12 songs on "Circus," once again leaving it to her high-paid supporting cast to create lyrics and music that purportedly express or mirror how and what she feels. The problem is, while she sounds more involved than she did with her phoned-in performances on "Blackout," it's the supporting cast that again mostly dominates the limelight.

"Kill the Lights" takes aim at the paparazzi who scramble to photograph Spears' every move, with such lines as: "I feel you, watching me, watching you"; and the Mae West-inspired: "Is that money in your pocket, or are you happy to see me?"

But Spears wasn't among the four lyricists who collaborated on the song. Nor did she contribute a word to the undeniably catchy and calculated "If U Seek Amy," which means four other lyricists decided it made sense for Spears to proclaim in song that both "boys and girls" want "to (have sex with) me."

Whether this is true is besides the point, especially when … as on nearly every other song … Spears' painfully thin voice is so heavily processed by various electronic devices and high-tech sleight of hand. She sounds so detached that your average robot sounds soulful by comparison.

The dance-friendly "Shattered Glass" out-Madonnas Madonna, while the hit single "Womanizer" strongly recalls Rihanna's "S.O.S.," although (unlike Spears) Rihanna somehow kept her clothes on in her video.

That's why, when Spears insists "There's more to me than what you see," the only logical response is: Oh, really? Where?

Britney Spears. "Circus." Jive/Zomba Records. Rating: 2.5 stars

NEW GUNS N’ ROSES ALBUM SOUNDS DATED

Understatement is a quality rarely ascribed to W. Axl Rose, the lone original member of Guns N' Roses featured on his new solo album … oops, the new GNR album … "Chinese Democracy."

Bombastic? Petulant? Charismatic? Absolutely. But understated? Not unless you regard Madonna and Lil' Wayne as models of gentility and good taste. That's why it's such an unexpected pleasure to hear Rose, 46, sing the gentle piano ballad "This I Love," the penultimate selection on this long-overdue 14 song album.

Or, to be more precise, the first 30 or so seconds of "This I Love," after which his vocals kick into overdrive and four orchestras … one live, three synthesized … begin to swell and surge before the band enters. Then comes a piercing, Jeff Beck-styled guitar solo by Robin Finck, along with a choir and brass section that are almost buried in the too-busy mix.

Then again, who would expect less from a release that comes 17 years after GNR's previous studio album of new songs? Recorded at eight studios in Los Angeles, four in New York and one each in Las Vegas and London, "Chinese Democracy" utilizes five producers, including Rose and Queen veteran Roy Thomas Baker, along with nearly 40 audio engineers and assistant engineers. As of 2005, the album's price tag was $13 million and rising.

"Street of Dreams," which boasts one of Rose's better vocal performances, features six guitarists and two bassists, along with five credits for "orchestral arrangement" and two for "drum arrangement," despite only one drummer (take a bow, Brain) actually playing on the song.

But the many credits are no surprise, considering how many short-lived band members and "special guests" (including Moby, Queen guitarist Brian May and, um, Shaquille O'Neal) have come and gone since Rose acquired sole rights to GNR's name in 1997. (In the CD booklet, he thanks several hundred people, including the Beverly Hills staff at City National Bank.)

Given the album's insanely drawn out gestation period, it's also no surprise that many of the songs sound instantly dated … or that Rose endlessly tinkered with each song, cramming more and more into them until they became bloated instead of epic. Less expected is how derivative some of them are.

The thunderous title track would make a greater impact if its opening guitar riff didn't recycle The Scorpions' "Rock You Like a Hurricane" and Humble Pie's version of Ray Charles' "I Don't Need No Doctor." Then there's "Shackler's Revenge" (which sounds so much like Nine Inch Nails that Trent Reznor could sue), and "Riad N' the Bedouins" (whose wordless vocal refrain echoes both Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" and, especially, Audience's "Raid").

At 72 minutes, "Chinese Democracy" … which is only available at Best Buy and from iTunes — is too long by half. Anything shorter would require a sense of understatement that W. Axl Rose clearly doesn't have … or care about.

Guns N’ Roses. "Chinese Democracy." Geffen Records. Rating: 2.5 stars.