How to Enhance Your Emotional Well Being by Engaging In More Genuine Communication

By Rachel Russo

On psychotherapist’s couches throughout the country, couples-both young and old- are revealing that they need help developing better communication skills. It’s always a variation of the same story: “We don’t communicate.” “We talk, but we don’t hear each other.” At a time in which we are communicating more rapidly than ever-via texts, tweets, and one email volley after the next-it seems that there is hardly anyone among us who couldn’t use some tips to facilitate more active listening for their in-person interaction.

As a society, our collective inability to engage in open and honest dialogue that could lead to positive change takes a toll on marital and family relationships. Couples, as well as singles who are unable to transcend the typical surface communication with their partners and potential suitors are ruining their likelihood of finding and maintaining fulfilling, romantic relationships. Their biggest mistakes often involve holding back the information that could set them up for successful partnerships.

If you feel like your emotional well being is suffering and are desperately trying to find a way to improve your relationships, here are a few things to consider:

The importance of being transparent: Yes, your mother always told you that it’s not what you say but how you say it that counts. However, take care not to underestimate the importance of the content of your conversations with the people you care about. For truly successful relationships, the nature of your dialogue should always be based on the truth in its’ entirety. Romantic relationships will flourish when both partners are able to share their innermost feelings and thoughts about themselves and each other.

The value in being open and free with who you really are: From self-help books to yogi retreats, there are an abundance of resources in today’s world that inspire people to find and become the most authentic versions of themselves. Perhaps the incredible power in living one’s truth can be summed up in the following fashion. As a wise man once said, “I tell the truth because it’s the easiest thing to remember.” Living a façade puts an incredible burden on our emotional well being. Speaking the truth, even and most often when it hurts, frees up so much mental space and increases our ability to connect with others. Keep in mind that a large part of such openness requires taking personal responsibility for your wrong doings. If you know, for instance, that your actions or words have hurt your partner, you must admit your faults to live your full truth.

The benefit of talk about setting boundaries: Although setting marital boundaries is currently a hot topic in the mental health field, it appears to be that the subject is often just as relevant to those in the dating game. Boundaries define relationships and protect our individuality as we get closer to our partners. Setting them often seems risky in the early stages of dating, as we don’t want to push those we are interested in too far away or hold them too close. Setting boundaries raises issues that are far more awkward then deciding which side of the bed is his, which is hers, and when it’s okay to go on a Guy’s Night Out. No wonder we don’t want to talk about it! In reality, we are taking a risk if we talk about it and taking a risk if we don’t.

Give it a try- the payoff is incredible!