How To Survive & Thrive On A Vacation With Your Long-Term Partner

Rachel Russo

By Rachel Russo, MS, MFT

Let me guess: With the fourth of July coming, you are painfully aware that it has been much longer than you’d like to admit since you’ve experienced fireworks with your partner. Your friends seem to agree that it is difficult to feel that passion which so naturally defined the early days of your relationship. (Currently, there is nothing more than fond memories of that time before you realized his or her frequent tendency to leave dirty socks on the bathroom floor.)
If you are like many couples who’ve built a life together, the current routines of your relationship may be more comfortable than exciting. Considering such, it is normal to feel a bit of anxiety about “shaking things up” by going on a vacation together. If you believe that absence makes the heart grow fonder, it is no wonder that you worry about what the closeness will do. Whether you are trying to figure out how to get through a weekend at the Jersey shore or devising a plan for a peaceful holiday across the globe, consider the following tips:

Sometimes, planning helps to avoid conflict.

While vacations are an ideal time to be spontaneous and live in the moment, failing to plan can often mean planning to fail. A rejuvinating vacation with your partner may require vision and clarity. Talk about what you both have in mind before you pack to avoid disappointment and ensure that no one is waiting on the balcony for too long.
Forget those overpriced cocktails, get your high from endorphins.

These brain chemicals are the same ones that made their debut when you first fell in love. Don’t let society brainwash you into thinking they can only make a cameo. Increase the longevity of your relational bliss by trying new things that will promote intimacy and deepen your connection. Taking risks and working toward a common goal are known to promote the release of endorphins. (How convenient if you are going somewhere that involves both roller-coasters and the need to collaboratively outsmart your car’s GPS!) Kissing works too.
Don’t be a buzz kill.

You are on vacation together to escape the stresses of your everyday lives. If you have an unhealthy dynamic, you are likely to start bickering before the fasten-your- seat- belt- sign even goes on in the plane. Didn't your mother tell you it is best to travel light? Try to leave your baggage at home, and you’ll be better equipt for dealing with the issues that are bound to come up on your trip. When the temptation to pick a fight arises, focus on your partner’s strengths instead of his or her weaknesses.

If you learn nothing else: when in doubt, breathe. Put down your Blackberry, grab your sunscreen, and act like you are having fun already.