Joy to Americans

The U.S. tops the list in depression out of 14 countries in a recent World Health Organization poll. Much of this holiday malaise can be traced to a sagging economy and holiday expectations. A parents group, the Boston-based Campaign for a Commercial-Free Childhood, wrote letters to 24 leading toy companies and retailers to express concern about ads aimed at kids. These parents expressed dismay that they can't afford the pricey toys that toy-makers are advertising heavily to our children, and children feel diminished when they don't get pricey toys.

It is hard to believe that we are descended from settlers' children who rejoiced at receiving a penny and a stick of candy as their main holiday gifts. In the 1800s, our kin earned $1,500 per year and usually had one nice set of clothes for church and one shabby set for daily life. We worked twice as hard for a simple diet because we had to grow most of what we ate ourselves. Over the course of 200 years, we have grown an average of 4 inches taller and 20 pounds heavier, and our houses have more than doubled in square footage. And we no longer find joy in a penny and a stick of candy.

We need to reclaim our holidays as times of family togetherness and joy, no matter what shape the economy is in. Even if you don't celebrate the Christian holiday or the Jewish Hanukkah or the African Kwanzaa, you still can celebrate a "secular Sabbath," in the words of New York Times columnist Mark Bittman. A secular Sabbath is a break from e-mail, cell phones, television and all the other distractions of modern living that keep us alienated from one another.

"You need not be elderly to remember when we had no choice but to reduce activity on Sundays; stores and offices — even restaurants — were closed, there were certainly no electronics, and we were largely occupied by ourselves or our families," Bittman writes.

Ways to get more joy from the holiday season:

—Find joy in the mundane moments. Notice the details of the season, new fallen snow, laughing children, glittering icicles and the sparkle of a lit tree.

—Avoid comparing your decorated house with your neighbors', your co-workers' holiday plans with your own and so forth. Instead of comparing — which is almost always unfavorable — be genuinely glad for your fellows, and delight in their joy. In turn, you will feel greater satisfaction.

—Bring holiday cheer to neighbors by baking cookies and then delivering them.

—Put gratitude in your attitude. Start your holidays off with a gratitude list, noting all the wonderful tangible and intangible blessings you have in your life. Counting your blessings will keep you focused more on what you do have.

—Keep the spirit of the holidays in your heart all year. Remember to give often and generously. Make volunteerism part of your daily routine. Research indicates that both the giver and the receiver of a good deed get endorphin boosts from the act.

Shawn Dell Joyce is an award-winning columnist and founder of the Wallkill River School in Orange County, N.Y. You can contact her at Shawn@ShawnDellJoyce.com.